Smile
by Lady Smoothie
Summary: Post-OotP: Harry thinks and reflects on the events in his life as he listens to music on a neighbor's radio. One-Shot Songfic; first in the Everclaer Songbook Series. Rated for a few lyrics. By Aerin.


_Five miles outside of Vegas when we broke down_

_Threw my keys inside the window and we never looked back_

_Got all drunk and sloppy on a Greyhound bus_

_We passed out, all them losers they were laughing at us. _

The boy sighed and looked out the window of Dudey's second bedroom, the strains of melody from a neighbor's window reaching him through the open portal to the outside- his only freedom. His only way to see the sky.

_I will never let them break your heart_

_No I will never let them break me. _

He looked back at his desk, the quill in his hand dripping ink onto the wood, and the almost- blank page staring eerily at him. _Dear Lupin…_

_We got lost in Phoenix seemed like such a long time_

_Seven onths of livin' swimming on those thin white lines_

_Did some time for sellin' acid to the wrong guy_

_Life just keeps on getting' smaller and we never ask why._

So what did he write next? _Oh, by the way Remus, the Dursley's put bars on my window again, but they put them in a cross and did them on all the windows so it wouldn't look suspicious. And oh, I'm starving too! I reckon that by now I've gone down to a hundered and seven ounds! Yipee! _No, somehow he didn't think that would work.

_Why there is no perfect place, yes I know this is true_

_I'm just learnin' how to smile, that's not easy to do_

_I know that there will come a day_

_When we can leave and just go runnin' away._

He paused in his letter writing to listen to the song. Somehow, that described him… and he knew exactly how. Ever since the Department of Mysteries, when Sirius had fallen… it had seemed like everyone had been trying to rush him along, when he wasn't ready to recover yet… He just wanted to run away.

_We was broke outside of Philly when the storms came_

_I was workin' in New Jersey, hitchin' rides in the rain_

_You was happy talkin' dirty at that phone sex place_

_Life just keeps on getting' weirder for us everyday. _

Looking out of the window once more, he glanced to where the song opn the radio was coming from. There was a young man of about twenty-one a few houses down, shoveling in the backyard and bobbing his head to the beat while the woman Harry could only assume was his girlfriend laughed and pretended to hit him in the head from the othjer side of the yard where she was potting plants. He sighed. He wondered if he would ever be a part of a normal, loving scene like that one. _Not bloody likely. _

_You say there is no perfect place, I say I know this is true_

_We're just learnin' how to smile, and that's not easy to do_

_We both live for the day_

_When we can run away. _

There was laughter at the park across the street. He remembered that park. He had used to play there when he was small. Dudley would push him down the slide and into the sandbox, and the other children would laugh. He had wondered why it was always him. There was no point in wondering any more.

_Oh baby we can leave and run away_

_Yes we can leave this place and run away_

_We can leave it all behind like we do every time_

_Yes we both live for the day_

_When we can leave and just go runnin' away._

Sometimes he wished that he could change one thing in his life, but he didn't know what it would be. He had once thought it would be his parents dying… but hadn't that stoopped years of Voldemort's reign, and saved so many lives? Hermione was right- he did have a saving people thing.

_No I will never let them break your heart_

_No I will never let them break me!_

He figured that he would save Sirius. No- he would Petrify Pettigrew before leaving the Shack- that way Sirius would be free, and he would be able to reach him easier. That way, the Department of Mysteries wouldn't happen in the first place.

_Five miles outside of Vegas, five years down the line_

_We got married in the desert and the sunshine_

_I can't handle how the hell it happens everyday_

_When you smile and touch my face_

_You make it all just go away._

The Order. Weren't they supposed to protect him? And yet they let his relatives treat him this way? Frankly, he would rather face Death Eaters and get something to eat than continue to hunger for a nice cold chicken sandwich in here. With smething to drink to. _Lord, it's hot. _

_Yes I know there ain't no finish line, I know this never ends_

_I'm just learnin' how to fall, get back up again_

_I know there is nothing perfect, I know there's nothing new_

_We're just learnin' how to live together, me and you_

_You know I live for the day_

_When you say "Baby let's just run away." _

_Oh baby we can leave and run away_

_Yes we can leave this place and run away_

_Baby we can leave and run away_

_We can leave this place and run away…_

Harry James Potter strained to hear the last few bars of melody before the song had completely faded out. He was just learning how smile. It wasn't easy to do.

He wanted to run away.

**A/N: Song is "Learning How To Smile" by Everclear. Had it stuck in my head, so I had to do a songficcy. Fun! Please review! **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. The song is Everclear's, the characters and everything else Miss Rowling's. All I own are my gym socks and a wedge of cheddar cheese. Yuuuumy. **


End file.
